You know that feeling—palms sweaty, heart drumming, and your phone suddenly weighs as much as a bowling ball, just before a sales call. I’ve been there, in hotel rooms far from home, traveling for work, staring down rejection and butterflies alike. This morning, coffee in hand, I found myself swapping stories in Las Vegas with Dr. Kevin Hogan—a sales psychology legend who insists overcoming anxiety isn’t magic, but more science (and a touch of good timing). What happens when you put two anxious minds and a therapy trick in a Venetian hotel room? Let’s go way behind the scenes.
The Weight of the Phone: Why Sales Anxiety Feels So Real
Picture this: You’re standing in the dazzling lobby of the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas, surrounded by marble floors and golden lights. Yet, in your hand, your phone suddenly feels like it weighs 7,000 pounds. The reason? You’re about to make a sales call. This is the paradox of entrepreneurship—the glitz and glamour outside, and the very real, very heavy anxiety inside. If you’ve ever felt your knees shake before dialing, you’re not alone. Overcoming anxiety in sales is a universal challenge, and there’s no shame in it.
Every Salesperson Faces Anxiety—No Guilt Allowed
Whether you’re a seasoned entrepreneur or just starting out, anxiety before a sales call is normal. Dr. Kevin Hogan, in conversation with Scott, puts it plainly:
“We get fear and anxiety because our body is responding instinctively.”
This isn’t just a rookie’s problem. Even experts with years of experience admit to feeling a surge of nerves before picking up the phone. The fear of rejection in entrepreneurship is real, and it doesn’t discriminate based on your experience level.
Why the Phone Feels So Heavy: The Science of Sales Anxiety
Scientific research shows that sales anxiety isn’t just “in your head.” It’s a physiological response. Your heart races, your palms sweat, and your stomach churns. These are the body’s natural reactions to perceived threats—even if the “threat” is just a conversation with a potential client. The psychological dynamics of anxiety are rooted in your body’s instinct to protect itself from harm, whether physical or emotional.
Dr. Hogan explains,
“It amplifies it literally. Okay?”
When you’ve had a bad experience—maybe a harsh rejection or a deal that fell through—your body remembers. The next time you approach a similar situation, your brain triggers a stronger anxiety response, amplifying the fear. This is why the phone can feel impossibly heavy, even if you know rationally that the worst outcome is just a polite “no.”
Personal Anecdotes: Turbulence in the Air, Turbulence in Sales
To illustrate this, Scott shares a vivid story about flying into Maui. As the plane descends between two mountains and banks over the ocean, turbulence shakes the cabin. Passengers grip their armrests, knuckles white. Scott, sitting by the window, reassures a nervous seatmate as he calmly puts on his sleep mask and headphones. For him, turbulence is just part of the journey. But he admits, “My originating experiences with turbulence were massive fear and all that.” Over time, he learned to manage his response, but the initial fear was real and overwhelming.
This metaphor is powerful for understanding sales anxiety. The closer you get to the “ground”—or to closing a deal—the more turbulent it feels. Just as turbulence can trigger panic in a plane, the anticipation of a sales call can trigger anxiety in your body. Both are natural, and both can be managed with the right strategies.
How Past Experiences Shape Present Fears
Childhood or past mishaps can amplify everyday fear in adulthood. Maybe you stumbled during a school presentation, or faced harsh criticism early in your career. These moments leave a mark. The next time you’re in a similar situation—like making a high-stakes sales call—your body remembers the discomfort and tries to protect you by ramping up anxiety. This is why effective methods for handling sales anxiety often involve addressing these deep-seated memories and retraining your responses.
- Recognize the pattern: Anxiety is your body’s way of preparing for perceived danger, even if the danger is just a phone call.
- Normalize the experience: Everyone—from Las Vegas boardrooms to home offices—feels this weight at some point.
- Use emotional intelligence: Acknowledge your feelings without judgment, and remember that anxiety is a sign you care about the outcome.
Overcoming anxiety in sales is about understanding these psychological dynamics and using effective methods for handling sales anxiety. The weight of the phone is real, but it’s also manageable. By recognizing how your past shapes your present, and by using proven strategies, you can lighten the load and move forward—one call at a time.
Rapid Eye Movement: Science Meets the Real World in the Restroom
Forget expensive sales seminars or complicated breathing routines. When anxiety hits—whether you’re about to make a high-stakes cold call or deliver a pitch in Las Vegas—Dr. Kevin Hogan’s rapid eye movement technique offers a surprisingly effective, science-backed way to cut through fear. Best of all, you can do it anywhere, even in the privacy of a restroom stall. This is not just theory; it’s a practical, step-by-step guide to rapid eye movement therapy, grounded in research by Dr. Frederick Schiffer and Dr. Hogan himself, across three universities and a Minnesota school.
Scientific Research on Anxiety Management: The REM Foundation
Rapid eye movement techniques for anxiety relief aren’t just pop psychology. Dr. Frederick Schiffer’s pioneering work, along with Dr. Hogan’s own research, has shown that these techniques can disrupt the body’s instinctive fear response. Schiffer’s book—often cited as the best resource on the subject—details how moving your eyes in specific patterns can help rewire emotional responses. Dr. Hogan has used these techniques with hundreds of clients, reporting consistent results in reducing anxiety, panic, and even the physical symptoms of fear.
Step-by-Step Guide to Rapid Eye Movement Therapy
Here’s how you can use the rapid eye movement technique, even if your “office” is a bathroom stall before a big call:
- Conjure the Fearful Situation: Sit or stand comfortably. Picture the anxiety-inducing event as vividly as possible—a movie screen in your mind, complete with sound and emotion. This could be an upcoming sales pitch, a cold call, or any scenario that triggers fear.
- Keep Your Eyes Open: Don’t close your eyes or try to escape the feeling. The goal is to stay present with the anxiety while you perform the exercise.
- Use Your Finger as a Guide: Extend your right hand (or left, if you’re left-handed) and hold your finger at the far left edge of your peripheral vision. Without moving your head, focus your eyes on your finger.
- Slowly Move Your Finger: Move your finger slowly from left to right, across your field of vision, as you continue to focus on the “movie” of your anxiety. When your finger reaches the far right, pause briefly—this is your “calm” side.
- Repeat the Motion: Move your finger back to the left (the “fear” side) quickly, then slowly return to the right. Repeat this motion several times, always thinking about the anxiety as you track your finger.
- Notice the Shift: After a few cycles, check in with your body. Most people report a noticeable drop in anxiety—sometimes from a 7 to a 6 on a 10-point scale. The fear isn’t gone, but it’s less overwhelming.
Techniques for Reducing Anxiety: Why It Works
According to Dr. Hogan, “If you do that, what we just did exactly…this is the tool that’ll help other people want to set off in the same journey.” The science suggests that when you force your brain to focus both on the fear and the moving finger, it becomes difficult to maintain the same level of anxiety. The act of moving your eyes from left (where anxiety is felt most strongly) to right (where calm is processed) helps “shift” the emotional charge. Over time, this can help retrain your brain’s response to stress.
Real-World Application: The Restroom Wild Card
Here’s the beauty of Dr. Kevin Hogan’s anxiety strategies: you don’t need a therapist’s office. Before a big call, slip into a restroom, close the stall door, and use the coat hanger as your imaginary movie screen. Practice the rapid eye movement technique right there. If you’re missing a supportive presence, visualize a respected mentor or confident figure (not a family member) on your right side for added comfort. This is anxiety management you can do on the go—no one has to know.
Practice, Not Perfection: The Long Game
While the rapid eye movement technique offers immediate relief, Dr. Hogan is clear: “This is not going to change long term. You’re going to have to do this like every single time you feel this fear and anxiety until that whole pile of anxiety has gone to the other side to where it’s irrelevant.” Real change is about repetition. You may need to practice for months or even years, but each session chips away at your anxiety, making you more resilient for today—and tomorrow.
- Key Takeaway: The rapid eye movement technique is a practical, scientifically validated tool for managing anxiety, accessible anywhere—even in a bathroom stall.
- Remember: It’s not a one-and-done fix, but with regular use, you’ll notice real progress.
What If You Put a Hero on Your Right? Surprising Tweaks for Everyday Confidence
It sounds almost too simple—maybe even a little odd. But according to Kevin Hogan, a leading voice in personal development and emotional intelligence in sales, there’s a powerful psychological dynamic at play when you literally put a hero on your right. Whether you’re facing the dazzling lights of Las Vegas or the shaky knees that come with high-stakes business moments, this technique is one of the most practical tips for overcoming fear in business you’ll ever try. And it’s rooted in neuroscience, not just wishful thinking.
Here’s how it works: When you look to your left, your brain is more likely to access feelings of anxiety. When you look to your right, you’re more likely to tap into calm, resourceful states. This left-right visual association is a subtle but potent emotional support tool. Hogan’s advice is to intentionally place an admired figure—someone you respect, but not a family member—on your right side during stressful moments. This could be a physical photograph, a small figurine, or even just a vivid mental image. The key is that this person should be someone you associate with confidence, calm, and positive energy, without any mixed or negative feelings attached.
Why does this work? The answer lies in the psychological dynamics of anxiety. Our brains are wired to respond to context and cues, both internal and external. By making a small tweak—shifting your gaze or your anchor point to the right—you’re signaling your brain to access a different emotional state. It’s a micro-intervention, but the results can be surprisingly outsized. As Hogan explains, “If you take anxiety and you keep bringing heaps and heaps of it over here [to the right], then you start feeling better.” The more you repeat the exercise, the more your brain learns to associate the right side with calm and support, gradually diminishing the power of anxiety triggers.
Of course, this isn’t a one-and-done fix. Relief can be immediate, but it’s often cumulative. Hogan is clear: “You’re going to have to do this like every single time you feel this fear and anxiety until that whole pile of anxiety has gone to the other side to where it’s irrelevant. It’s going to take a while. It could take years.” This is where the real value of emotional support tools and personal development practices comes in. Each time you use this technique, you’re building resilience—one small shift at a time. The process is imaginative, but it’s grounded in real neuroscience and practical psychology.
Choosing the right ‘anchor’ figure is crucial. Avoid family members, children, or anyone with whom you have complicated feelings. Instead, select someone you admire for their confidence, composure, or achievements—perhaps a respected leader, a historical figure, or even a mentor you’ve never met in person. The absence of emotional baggage is what allows your brain to fully embrace the calming effect. As Hogan’s clients have discovered, this small ritual can become a powerful part of your emotional intelligence toolkit, especially in high-pressure sales or business environments.
But personal development doesn’t stop at the hotel door or after a single event. The journey to greater confidence and emotional mastery is ongoing. That’s why Hogan offers a wealth of resources at kevinhogan.com, including free email tips designed to keep you moving forward. As one participant put it, “You know, one of the things I admire about you is you know the studies and you give people credit where credit’s due.” This spirit of continuous learning and support is what sets Kevin Hogan’s approach apart—and what can help you keep building resilience, no matter where you are.
In the end, conquering sales anxiety or any business fear isn’t about grand gestures or overnight transformations. It’s about the surprising power of small, intentional tweaks—like putting a hero on your right. With repetition, self-awareness, and the right emotional support tools, you can turn even the most nerve-wracking moments into opportunities for growth. So next time you feel those shaky knees, remember: your hero is just to your right, and your next breakthrough might be, too.
TL;DR: Sales anxiety doesn’t have to run the show. Practical exercises like rapid eye movement—backed by science and human stories—can bring the courage you need to pick up the phone (or take the stage).
